friends, or may i say family :)

The friends that you make in college are the ones that you will appreciate for the rest of our lives...those people will help you figure your life out, find your true-self, and never fall out of that "best friend" feeling.

The first few weeks of my college were, honestly, quite rough. The typical stresses of being a freshman with new food (yay sodexo) and new roomies gave me such a thrill of excitement that I could hardly handle it. On top of that, I was traveling from home for the county fair and my late uncles funeral. So by time I was really settled into the life here at Concordia, it had been about a month; and I still had no good friends besides the two people I roomed with, Brianna, who is just a riot and Christin, the Ohio/Jack Sparrow lover.

But as the days go on, and I settle into my routine of classes and doing laundry at school. I meet some people from classes and from around my room, and yes- Jolene actually makes girlfriends! So now I have added Sarah, and Alyssa. The "Boys" as we now call them, are Alex, Ryan, Brian and Collin- and they are just as my guy friends had been at home, wild and crazy with an open and caring heart.

My girls have been there through thick and thin, boy problems and even when I lost two of my friends due to a car accident, they made sure that I kept strong and kept my faith, though three deaths in a month is enough to drive the strongest person off a cliff.

These people that I now call my friends have gone over and beyond friendship-- they are now my family. Going out on weekends and chillin together is a great way to relieve stress, and we even plan on taking a "family photo" to put on a Christmas card to send to our blood-family. But as far as I can tell, these people are the most valuable people in my life, and I care for them all like I have known them for years. Joking around, poking fun and having our own inside jokes makes me feel very at home here at Concordia, and that is how I expected it to be... but these people have tripled my expectations of college. I can truly say that I would take a hit from Clay Mathews for anyof them. (ok, maybe not. but you get the picture!)

So, are these people going to be the ones I look to all my life? Do I think that these people, who were (for the most part) totally strangers on September 27, 2010 going to be there 20 years from now? My answer is yes. This family that we have created is strong, and I hope nothing ever comes between us all... and yea, I do surround myself with these people and I plan to for a long time! I even have one of them with me as we speak :) I want these people around me, they make me happy. We go through thick and thin together, and I'm sure we have lots more to go through; but I have faith in our family... because they are the 8 best friends that anyone could have. 

*this post is dedicated to:

~ bri, the strong and wild friend who knows exactly when i need to dance on my desk to some loud music...preferably by Ciarra

~ sarah, the honest and genuine one who is gonna tell you what she thinks, but will always love you for who you are

~alyssa: feisty and strong willed, and a lot like me... take that as you wish girl :) lover of lots, hater of few

~alex, the one who will tell you straight up what's goin on, especially if your being a loser or with the use of more colorful choice of words...

~ryan: caveman, happy, never judges anyone by their cover and always can get you to crack a smile

~brian: the animal/packer fan... never lets a dull moment into our lives!

~collin: quiet and reserved, though strong and caring... one of those people who you never know what exactly is going though their head, but you can always count on them to be there when ya need em

~mike: crazy man, always making sure everyone is happy... witty and always gives it to ya as it is, yet a gentleman with a crazy side

 we are a random group of friends,

 but hey-

we make a great family 

Laundry at Concordia via Heidelberg

There is two resident floors to Concordia's Heidelberg building. Below these two floors is one small, hot and dingy room my friends call the "laundry dungeon". It's a small little room with bugs, dust and a couple misplaced clothing items (currently a pair of socks and a t-shirt). But that is not something to blog about. How the washers and dryers in this dungeon work is.
The washing machines, have six choices of cycles and wash your clothes pretty fast, normally within 37 minutes. The quality of wash is as good as expected for a small commercial washing machine, and it seems to be fairly water-efficient. But the dryers are a different story all together. The dryers take between 30 and 60 minutes to dry your smallest loads- and if you have your bed sheets in there, be expected to be waiting awhile for them to be dry! Not to mention how the inside of the dryers smell like burnt plastic, which gets it's way into your clothing smelling them up.
Now I can get over the stinky dryers and the small washers, but the two working together are just frustrating.
Since the washers do not take very long to wash, and the dryers take so long to dry, there is always a line to get your clothes from washer to dryer. Also, if you are not down in the dungeon to get your clothes out of the dryer right away, they get taken out and put on the table- just the place for bugs and other people to get into. Theft seems to be a problem in this room too because of the commuter's lounge not far away.
A simple suggestion for Concordia would be to put another dryer into this room, but not before it is cleaned! I think this would cause less theft due to less clothing lying around, and hopefully a faster routine from washer to dryer. Also, maybe adding another washer and dryer into this room would be a good addition. There is lots of girls that use the four washers and four dryers in the dungeon, and I think it would help with the theft and take the frustration out of cleaning your clothes--which was a calming job for me to do until I started doing laundry in the Heidelberg laundry room.

Halloween-- Has The Celebration Gone Too Far?

As a child, I loved getting candy and getting dressed up. But my family really never put a real big emphasis on celebrating Halloween. But should we?

 Halloween is an old tradition that was celebrating old saints and the "end of summer". It was a happy celebration and in some places, it was a way to collect bread and water for the poor, by going door to door. But Halloween is younger children getting dressed up all "scary" and going door to door for candy to rot their stomachs and teeth. And even worse, there is always that horrible person out there who tries to hurt the children through the candy with needles and poison. So is Halloween such a great thing?

For the older generations, we look at Halloween as another explanation for a grouping of friends and reminiscing the dorky and possibly really embarrassing costumes worn around town. And maybe going out to buy a costume that is really too expensive, but we want it to be a good Halloween, and that's what it's all about! Or so it's been learned that way.

I don't think that the risks that persist today, including kidnapping,poisoning and the scary nightmares from the TV shows that go watched without parental advising. I think that Halloween should not be emphasised as much as it is, which would save a lot of money (for the dentist bills and for the costume buyers). Also, when I have children running around town I want to know that they will be safe from harm in more ways than one; physically and mentally... anyone with me??

HOME iS WHERE THE HEART iS

We go through life being told what to do, how to do it and how well we did it. But I don't think that's how I'm ever going to look at life again. I lost two of my friends to one mistake on Sunday, October 17th. I've never felt so numb in my life, knowing that we will never laugh at each other's jokes, bruises or even just sit and wonder what is actually out there. With the loss of my uncle, I feel pretty alone and hopeless at times, though I know there is lots of people out there who love me. It was a great thing to see the huge line of people at the funerals on Friday, and I will never forget it all. I'll never forget the parents faces, the girlfriends broken hearts and the strongest friends I have crying at the thought of out beloved friends.

But what Travis and Dominick taught us in the 18 years of <LiFE> they had here with us, is that you should never settle for the best. Never settle for the greatest. Reach farther. Know that there is MORE. More than what you are dreaming of. And most of all, to not let anyone tell you how to have faith, how to love, how to live and never give up hope.

So sitting here at this laptop at ten-thirty at night  fulfilling an assignment task I realise that most of us here on earth are doing just that: fulfilling tasks. This thankfully will not get graded, which is really the only thing here at college I feel is not. Here at college, the professors grade you and test you and make you fill the requirements as fast as possible to get you out in the work force as sooooon as possible. But what about life?

College students are pushed and prodded to be the best in everything, and told that if not, they will fail at life, fail at having a career. But Travis and Dom, they only had a few years here on earth. They LiVED. They had a LiFE. They, are what I towards when I'm feeling lost. I may cry, I may loose it and sob my eyes out for an hour or so, but then I realise that they would want me to do what I need to. Not because that is what my professors told me to do at the beginning of college, but so that they can live on in the things that I do. So that they can live on in the LiFE that I am going to have. A LiFE without judgements and without doubt. I will be successful not because I want to be successful, but for those who will need my help. The loving and caring help I learned from those two boys- and undieing one.

Who Am I?

            This is a good question that sometimes I am unsure how to answer. Well the basics are that my name is Jolene Lee Mentink and I’m a very original “corn-raised” farm girl. Being born and raised on a dairy farm has given me some great morals to always fall back on and I feel they are always at the top of my priorities. Although I have lived rurally for 18 years, I feel very comfortable here at Concordia and in the city. Fittingly, I am pursuing a major and minor in Social Work. Which is also another detail about me, which I’m not totally proud of: indecisive.

            My life has been very organized and was almost lain out for me on a platter. Farming has been my family’s life for 3 generations and my father would have loved for me to get into the family business. And though I feel most comfortable there, I felt I needed to explore my options and college. After the death of my uncle this past September, I wonder if I made the right choices, but I feel that I need to stick with my gut on college and future life. I started off going to be majoring in Athletic Training, but suddenly realized that my life and stress levels really didn’t need the work load of an AT. Seemingly enough, I am now pursuing a career here at Concordia for a minor and a major in Social work.

            Social Work is also a challenging career, but I feel it is more set to my personality. Most people judge my personality by my sibling’s choices, especially because of where I am from. My family has had a good reputation in the community and we are judged as trustworthy people. But as my siblings are an accomplished Veterinarian, a Math Teacher in Madison and my brother, Mother and Father are accredited Farmers my life as the youngest gets spotlighted. Which I completely don’t mind! The pressure is normal and I feel it is a good way for me to make my mind up about my life choices.

So, how am I getting to the place where I want to be? Well since Concordia has a great academic program for social work, I will be getting a bachelor’s degree and a minor here. I was going to transfer to The University of Minnesota, but Concordia is still the best choice. So my plans are to stay here for the next 4 years. I am still very much that country girl who misses all the adventures of the farm life, and if I feel college isn’t working for me- I know it will be there for me to pick back up where I left off. But I try not to think about it, and the more I am here in this dorm room with some very respectable women I feel my goals to be a social worker will be met with flying colors.    

But why do we go through these thoughts? Why do people consistently question themselves on who they are and what they want to do with their lives. I believe that this is a normal process for us to go through, but it is also necessary for people to have others who will encourage change and support the familiar situations. My rock is obviously my family, though i might not always feel like they want to help, or I don't want to bother them with my problems.

But the truth is, everyone needs change, challenges and family to live a good mentally healthy life.



What Am I Doing Here?

“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”

Robert Collier, American Motivational Author (1885-1950)

I’m a smart girl; there is no doubt about that. The transition from high school to college has been lot harder than I would have thought it to be. Don’t get me wrong, I was not expecting the transition to be a cake walk. But now that we are about a month into the first semester I start to wonder if this is really where I want to be and what I want to do with the rest of my life. It’s a lot of pressure being here at Concordia University. They hold their students on a pedestal and expect us to act accordingly. I like that, but I guess the stress levels have finally hit the high point in my life.

At my high school and throughout my entire life the adults around me always stressed being professional and specific. So that’s what I have been basing my decisions upon. And as I go through my classes here, I feel everyone else has had the same experiences. I don’t want to play the blame game and express what I really think about the topic of being a specific professional from the get-go. I do want to know what I am really doing here. I have been doing agricultural studies all of my life, mostly because I live on a farm and that’s what I am very accustomed to doing (also because I absolutely loved the teacher).But I never had the inkling to become a Veterinarian or really anything else in the agricultural. Yet I feel an attachment to it. But again, I love to help people, and I thought the medical field was going to be for me! I can withstand all the grossness that might come with it and I am intellectual. Perfect right?

Do I really know what I want to do with my life? Well the answer to that question today is no, I don’t know what I am doing here. I feel very overwhelmed and unsure of what I really want to do with my life. In some respects, I wish I would have had these feelings before I got to this state of mind. I am so very unsure what I want to do its kind of ridiculous. I don’t want to feel like a dummy in my classes and I really want to be happy. But I don’t think I really understood what I was dipping my fingers into until I finally got burned. But on any other day, the good ones that is, I am confident. Ready for whatever Concordia of Wisconsin wants to throw at me. I am invincible and really ready for being an Athletic Trainer. Like yesterday in class we were practicing special tests of the knee and I was just acing them. I could do it like a pro and nobody could make me feel any better or worse about my choice to be in the AT program.   

So here comes the real argument for you whom are reading this post: is declaring a major good for a freshman in college to do? Even if you are darned sure that’s what you want to for the rest of your adult life? Is it right for a freshman to be lost in the idea of “for the rest of your life”?

Looking back now, I was very confident in my decisions that I had made. I don’t think that they were bad ones either. I’m in a good institution, with good professors and good peers. But I feel choosing a major is too much for a student of high school age going into college to think about. The moving away from mommy and daddy and your family may be hard, but being independent in itself it a burden that is hard to handle. And you live in a new environment completely, have new people and new food (which trust me, is hard to get used to) around you is another category of stress in itself. So I think that colleges should stress more for incoming freshman to be undecided. Also, I think that colleges should have a freshman “experiences” program to explore more personally what you really want to do with your life. I think that there would be less confused and lost freshman and in general more confidence in the young people who will be running the world someday. Changing majors is put off as not a big deal. But it is, at least to me. I don’t want to feel lost, I want to know what is going on and I don’t want to play catch-up. It’s been said that college students change their major 2-4 times before they find what they really want to do. Is it that demanding to know what I’m getting into before I commit? 

               

Relationships

Relationships are such a funny thing. I mean one day they can be going really well, the next it can be all gone.

Human nature is also a complicated thing. Values, truth, complications, morals, failure, success,love, hate

- it all plays a role.

My roommate is going through a rock and a hard place right now. Her rock is her best (guy) friend, and not to get into details- they have been fighting for the past week about something that had come up just upon a question unanswered, a question of love. Now I'm sure we are quick to play the blame game and sure, maybe it is only one person's fault. But who really cares? Well they do of course.

Humans in general, I have come to notice, go along with their lives happy and without complain. But as soon as something goes wrong, all hell breaks loose. And if it is something that strikes close to the heart, all hell might as well of cooled down a few degrees. So thinking to myself the other day, I realized that relationships are a huge part of our lives, and we don't even know it. We wake up one day and realize we have surrounded ourselves with relationships, whether it's a mental, physical or social relationship.

I took the time to count all of the relationships that I currently have in my life. Well, actually I gave up counting. Relationships between people can be short sweet and too the point, or they can grow into full blown companionship. I mean look at it- try counting the relationships your in. Friends, family, that guy you see at the diner every time you order your morning coffee. Everyone is connected to somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody. I do believe that is why Facebook and eHarmony and mySPACE work so well.

But going deeper, how did you get these relationships? Looking on my past, how do we learn to trust our mothers,fathers,sisters and brothers? How is it that I've been friends with these people for so long? But the most surprising one to me was the relationship I officially have with my Quaterhorse-Arabian Paint, Dapper.

When my mother told me that I had been given the colt that her uncle had previously owned, I was one thrilled 7 year old. This yearling was a beautiful, chestnut but mostly white paint that had spirit and spunk that could have knocked you out of this world. And I HATED HIM. He was naughty, I couldn't do anything with him and I just hated bringing him anywhere. Mostly because I had this steady Quarterhorse named Skip. But Skip had to be put down two weeks before my county fair, and sure enough, Dapper was my alternate/backup "ride". That fair was awful-worst fair of my life. But this past county fair, the 2009 Sheboygan County Fair, I had the best time of life. It was a great summer- Dapper and I had clicked for the first time and we were actually placing in our classes. He had become my dream horse and the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

And now that I am living on the campus of Concordia, I miss him lots. I have realised  that in the past 12 years of his and my life, I had created this friendship that I cannot even put into a definition. I think what he thinks, he thinks what I think- we click. I never thought I could miss a single thing more than his breath on my face or the feel of his tensed up and in the air shoulders before a full out run through the fields. This relationship just happened, and I have no way of explaining it.

To me, that is why human beings get so hyped up about relationships. They cannot be controlled nor can they be forced. It happens. Some people cannot except that fact and try to do it by themselves and end up generally alone. But those who just go with the flow of it all end up being actually happy and feel achieved with who they are... not afraid of what might come next.


And for my roommate who might end up reading this.-

                                                                          

"Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you.  They are not perfect but are always perfect for you."  ~Author Unknown